The Dutch Way of Practicing Happiness
— An Observation in the Netherlands from a Taiwanese Exchange Student
100 Days.
It has been 100 days since I landed in the Netherlands.
If you ask me how have I been during these 100 days, I would answer in certain — “Happier than one could ever, ever, ever imagine.”
Happiness occurred not because I‘ve been traveling around and exploring the European continent yet the exact opposite. Happiness permeated every part of me because I stayed in the Netherlands, this led to the full experience of “living” locally, and this type of “living” gave me unprecedented adventures and happiness.
Fair Enough? Then Just Do It.
The Netherlands is one of the most innovative countries on earth. In the 2021 Global Innovation Index, Netherlands ranked the 6th place globally and the 4th place among European countries.
After living here for 100 days, I identified one reason why they could be more creative. It is because they are encouraged to “do everything and anything”.
Upon the second week of my arrival, my friend and I bought ice creams at the city centre plaza. We then climbed up the 200-year-old city hall which locates right in front of the plaza, and mimicked the locals to step over the balustrade and sit on it. With our legs dangling in the air, tongues licking the dripping ice cream, suddenly, someone shouted toward us from behind. Instinctively, I was afraid the safety guard got irritated by our behaviour, since eating ice creams on a public institution’s balustrade wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do. Yet unexpectedly, I realised the shouting came from a middle-aged man. “Look out your ice creams!” He said, with a mischievous smile on his face.
I smiled back. It never occurred to me that it would be such an adorable comment.
Even though there was a city hall safety guard behind us, even though passersby on business came and went, even though there were risks of falling down when crossing the balustrade, but they didn’t matter at all. As long as you like it, take full responsibility of it, and it is not against the law, then why not? Just do it!
The safety of the ice cream matters more than the legitimacy of you doing things.
The same concept applied in the classroom.
In one of my courses, we were asked to upload a poster for the presentation next week so that the lecturers could print it out for us collectively. I wrote down the deadline immediately without second thoughts.
A hand shoot up.
“I don’t get the meaning of the poster. In my opinion, we have the technology to help us present, the poster seems meaningless and it’s not even environmental-friendly. Why can’t we use the pdf file to present? What’s the point of printing it out?”
The professor appreciated his idea, and said she would discuss with other lecturers and let us know the results as soon as possible.
I couldn’t agree with my classmate’s opinion more, but I never thought of speaking up and fighting for the opportunity to present our posters in a pdf file, let alone indicating that it’s unreasonable to print out the poster in public.
We presented in the pdf form the following week, and even gained an extra day for preparation since there’s no need to upload the poster for printing.
There were countless daily details which I was accustomed to beforehand, but all in a sudden, they became slightly “different” here.
Metaphorically sparked by her, the Netherlands taught me to think twice, and doubt towards everything.
Why couldn’t I cross the balustrade and eat? Why was I afraid of being scolded by the safety guard? Why didn’t I doubt the requests by the lecturer?
Dutch are very principled, but the principles should be reasonable for them to follow. I feel happy here, because I don’t need to worry about being blamed by making mistakes, I am no longer afraid that my opinions would be denied. As long as one’s behaviour is reasonable and thinks it’s logical, one is more than encouraged to do whatever he or she wants to do. Just do it.
When you can be 100% yourself
Netherlands as a whole emphasises the concept of “ individuality”. It respects the differences of each person, and treats every person as a complete and unique individual. Neither do Dutch categorise people under specific frameworks nor they judge a person’s behaviour, outfit, or preference. They encourage you to be you.
The way of being “non-judgemental” makes me extremely comfortable.
I could stand on the stage and dance lightheartedly in the nightclub without worrying about my dancing skills, because no one will judge how you dance, a nightclub is merely an occasion to enjoy dancing with your friends; I could express my own thoughts at liberty in the classroom since your classmates are genuinely hoping to exchange opinions with you instead of judging what you said, they want to know what thoughts do “you” have in mind as an individual; you could wear outlandish outfits on the streets without raising people’s eyebrows, because that is your style, and no one will be judging it.
A local music festival took place on the second week upon my arrival. My friend and I wandered around the big, crowded Noorderplantsoen park.
In the park, a crowd followed the DJ’s beats and danced wholeheartedly on a wooden stage in the centre of the lake, yet by their side, people were laying on the meadow peacefully, enjoying the sunbath and their books; another group of people sat on wooden chairs upon the lake, either with cigarettes or weeds in their hands, while the table beside them ate poffertjes and swayed and sang with the music; others walked cheerfully alongside their friends or family with a glass of beer, discussing what food should they take as dinner, and the rest followed their daily routines to walk their dogs, jog, or play football.
As a foreigner who was fresh off the boat, the incongruous scene struck me with its strong conflict. Imagine splitting the scenes in the music festival, every scene seems to be an independent piece with people doing completely different things, enjoying diametrically opposed vibes. I couldn’t tell they were attending the same music festival.
To me, the pieces were not meant to be put together.
Yet this is how the Dutch act: do their favourite things around the clock, enjoy the vibes they want to enjoy, not disturbed by others, and would never bother about how others think of them (there won’t be anyone judging their behaviour in real life as well). This led to the chance of being their true selves freely, and without any fetters holding back.
I attended a movie night once in which the host asked all students in the room, “Had anyone told you before that despite what your current situation is, you always have the opportunity to become the ideal person you want to be?” The girl sitting in front of me raised her hand and said, “the entire Dutch education system.”
I cannot describe how envy I felt upon hearing this answer.
I feel happy here, because I am 100% me, needn’t be judged by others nor cater to others’ expectations. No names, no labels. I can be whoever I want to be.
The happiness is beyond words when you can finally become the ideal person you want to be.
Don’t live a life after work, live it NOW
One of my courses requires us to cooperate with a startup. The co-founder was curious about my biggest culture shock after arriving the Netherlands. I told him that it is how the society as a whole shows respect to one’s decision on how they live their lives, and the attitude towards living and working.
To concretise, in Netherlands, if a middle-age doesn’t have a full-time job, nobody will be criticising; if a graduated freshmen goes on a vacation for a year rather than seeking a job, nobody will ask him constantly about his job application progress.
The society gives you the right to choose your own way of living to a high extent because living is the focus of life, working isn’t.
The startup’s co-founder said that there are many people in the Netherlands who do part-time jobs, and even if it’s full-time, the working hours are low as the weekends are for sure promised to be day-offs, and that there is little to no chance of working overtime. Some startups nowadays even start to implement the pattern of working three days and taking four days off per week, since they believe employees will be more efficient on the three working days.
According to the statistical data of Statistics Netherlands (CBS) and OECD Stats, in 2021, 48% of the Dutch workforce are part-time employees, and the average working hours per week of the entire workforce is only 30.3 hours. On the contrary, according to the statistical result of the Ministry of Labor in Taiwan, the average working hours per person in year 2021 was 2,000 hours, which is approximately working 38 hours per week. This indicates that Taiwanese worked an extra full day per week compared to that of the Netherlands. (However, it is said that there is serious labour shortage in the Netherlands, and many organisations which assist companies are now calling on extending working hours to solve the problem in a short term.)
From my perspective, mentally, Dutch view work as a part of their lives, so they fully enjoy their working hours and consider themselves contributing and adding value to the society; in terms of practical life, Dutch draw a clear line between living and working, they have two phones, two computers, and all electronic devices for work will be turned off after work in order to avoid disturbance in their after work life.
Maybe it’s because of the short working hours and healthy mindsets, Dutch usually find pleasure in their works. The bus driver will always say “morning”, “have a nice day” to you; shop assistants will ask if you need help initiatively; supermarket clerks will say “have a nice day” after your check out; waiters and waitresses will say “have a nice evening”, etc.
These are not required.
When they smiled as they spoke these words to me, I couldn’t stop wondering, how could people act so cheerfully while they’re working? But thinking about it, when you view work as a part of your life, and that you really enjoy life itself, how could you not be cheerful?
When I mentioned to the co-founder that many Taiwanese would continue working after they went home from work, his eyes grew wide with amazement and asked, “why?”
I couldn’t explain why in a short span of time, but my answer in mind was the normative social influence.
Maybe one could be approved by managers in Taiwan if he or she works overtime so they are more likely to be promoted; maybe work is literally too much to finish; maybe one wants to earn and save more money quickly through working overtime so that he or she could live a better life.
No matter what the reason is, the mindset behind this is “I need work to support my life.” The hidden assumption is that working and living are separated in essence, living is what happens after work.
Yet when are we going to be off-work?
To Dutch, working overtime indicates inefficiency, and living is never a matter after work, but a matter that is constantly happening. They don’t really care that much about positions, titles, being successful, and the amount of money they earn. What matters is you’re doing something you consider meaningful, and that you are living your most ideal life in the very moment.
I feel happy here, because I learned to view work as a part of my life, I no longer do things for a position or a title on the resume, but because I want to learn, I am interested, and I like it genuinely so that I am willing to devote my time.
“Dutch don’t need an extra little happiness,”
I said to my friend.
“for that life itself is already a huge enjoyment.”
Never have I ever understood how to live a life
When I was in Taiwan, my friend and I called ourselves “the master of feigned leisure”.
Even though tons of work was still awaiting, we intentionally went out to buy a decent meal during lunch break and went picnicking, which prevented us from attending the next class on time; even though time could barely be found between school work and extracurricular activities, we still rushed to grab some desserts to treat ourselves well; even though there was a 9 am the next morning, we still watched a movie at 3 am serving with potato chips, pretending that life is a leisure, feigning that we are living a life.
The memories themselves remain wonderful, and those are times which I truthfully enjoy with my friends, but looking back at them now, why do we need to use extremely short terms of time to do something that makes us happier? Because we were not living when we were working, and since life is too busy to live, all we could do is to make use of the short periods, and revengefully satisfy ourselves.
This is not living, this is sneaking a break.
To put it amusingly, it’s that Dutch never have to pretend life is a leisure, because they are already chilling;
to put it seriously, it’s that compared to Dutch, I’ve never understood how to live.
For 100 days living in the Netherlands, I’ve genuinely been really, really, really happy.
I am happy because I could try anything and challenge the principles boldly; I am happy because I could finally become the favourite and bravest person that I longed to be; I am happy because I could find the meaning in work and busyness, viewing the relation of working and living from a different mindset.
I am happy in the Netherlands because I finally figured out how to live a life.
Afterword
Thanks to each one of you who have finished reading!
Personal feelings are strongly related to the city one’s living in. The Netherlands is not complete from what I’ve seen, and it is impossible to 100% know a country in a short span of time. I will write another article to introduce the city I’m now living in — Groningen! A great share of my happiness originates from this wonderful city.
Hopefully, this essay could be a little reference of your decision if you’re hesitating whether to come and live in or to exchange in the Netherlands or not. Netherlands literally surprises me, opens my eyes, and makes me discover a little bit more of myself every single day. To what extent will I recommend one to come here you ask?
Nearly the same as my level of happiness.
Highly, highly, highly recommended.
I hope you like the Netherlands as much as I do.
